As a pastor and counsellor I have discovered what is indispensable is also non-negotiable; that in listening we have to denounce the intrusive self.
The intrusive self is not too far off; such as the enemy it prowls like a lion.
Our ego and schedule would be painted all around the billboard which is our life when we had anything to do with it. Even as listeners we could be praised as listeners, and a few have honed their skills so well that they live off such compliments – oh yes, I have caught myself in this clinic several times. It is a drug. However, like all drugs it pushes authenticity, and it robs interactions of what they might be.
Our listening needs to be more.
The toughest thing about listening is having to consciously place my schedule, Palm Bay Bat Removal, ego, opinion and urges to one side. I believe I have so much to give the conversation. It gives something else. People do not ever come to me to be told what to do, even if they believe they do.
The toughest thing about listening is knowing that by listening correctly we might not have any effect, or worse, another person might believe we gave them less than nothing and took out of them instead. Really, we should look to have no effect, then be amazed within ourselves when we do. Having listened, we will need to be comfortable that we did not meet their requirements, even if we’ve got. When we do so we might be amazed how much more concentrated and effective we’re for another person… is not that our aim?
The toughest thing about listening is realising that
Our aid helps most when it seems to help least.
The practice of listening really is not about us at all. If it’s anything about us inside, our authenticity is taxed, and the person listened to has been robbed of the type of attention we might have given them.
Listening involves a mixture of unnaturally letting go of my stuff and rigorous self-discipline to concentrate on the other person.
And, listening is in being so cautious that, if there’s anything we share, it’s short and for their own benefit.